TO BE ALONE IS NOT TO BE LONELY
A sermon by the Rev. Dr. James G. Kirk
Harundale Presbyterian Church
Glen Burnie, Maryland
May 20, 2001
Text: "I am going away." (John 14:28)
First Reading: Acts 16:9-15
Second Reading: Rev. 21:10,21-22-22:5
This next Thursday is the Ascension of the Lord. Now, that probably doesn’t mean much to any of us, because in the Protestant tradition very little has been made of it. Nevertheless, it dates back to the late fourth century when it was prescribed in Constantinople that on the fortieth day of the Season of Easter the Feast of the Ascension of the Lord would be celebrated. And this next Thursday will be the fortieth day of Easter.
Luke captures the essence of the celebration in the 24th chapter where Jesus "led them out as far as Bethany, and, lifting up his hands, he blessed them. While he was blessing them, he withdrew from them and was carried up into heaven." (Luke 24:50-51) We get a hint of the same event in our gospel reading this morning when John rehearses for the disciples how, "I have said these things to you while I am still with you. But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything and remind you of all that I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid." (John 14: 25-27)
Neill Hamilton in his book Maturing in the Christian Faith, tells us how Jesus had to ascend into heaven. If he didn’t the disciples would never have matured into the people they became. They would always be dependent on Jesus, rely on him and expect him to do everything for them. We can get some idea of what Neill is getting at when we look at our own children. Particularly from now and throughout the summer parents are going to go through withdrawal pains as they see their children transition from one stage of their life to another. Some will transition from being four year-olds to starting kindergarten. Some will transition from being fifteen year-olds to starting to drive. Some will transition from being seniors in high school to entering college or starting a job. Some will transition from college to starting a career. Each transition they make seems to make them less and less dependent upon us as parents and more independent and on their own.
We see it with our own pre-school. The four year-olds will be going to kindergarten next year. Most of them began the school when they were three. The parents had a few tears in their eyes when they left their sons and daughters for the first time. Some of the kids themselves made quite a fuss about it. Now the three year-olds pull on their mother or father’s hands as they eagerly rush up the hall to greet their classmates. The four year-olds are so confident they seem to own the hallways. But you can see the fear and trepidation that lingers in their parent’s eyes as they realize that in three months time their babies will begin kindergarten. It dawned on me one day when both John and Jamie wanted me to kiss them goodbye a block away from school, so that when we reached the front door they could just get out of the car without causing a scene.
There was the time when they didn’t care how much love I showed them in public and, in fact, they liked to boast about it.
Jesus has been the perfect parent to the disciples. He taught them well when he was with them. He helped them to see how to care for those in need, heal the sick, provide housing to the homeless and to spread the good news of God’s kingdom. He assured them time and again how he would never leave them. Even when the crucifixion occurred he returned and spent time with them. He continued to teach them and break bread with them at Emmaus. He appeared suddenly in the Upper Room, showing his wounds to Thomas. He told the fisherman to "try the other side of the boat." He even had a cookout with them on the beach. It was no wonder that after 40 days they began to be convinced that he would be with them forever.
Yet, as Neill Hamilton tells us and we know ourselves we do a disservice to ourselves and our children if we don’t let them go and make their own mistakes as well as their own fortunes. On Thursday, the Feast of the Ascension marks that time of transition when, as Luke tells us, Jesus is "carried up to heaven."
Thursday also marks a significant day for the disciples, because from then until the Day of Pentecost in ten days time they will be lonely. They will have lost their parent, their best friend and their teacher all at the same time. I was talking with someone the other day whose wife had left him for another man. That she left him for another man is not what bothered him so much as he was lonely. He had never lived alone. He had left his parent’s house when he got married. He had lived with his wife for nine years. When she left him all he had was himself and could I help him with his loneliness?
We see it with those who are recently widowed, they are devastatingly lonely. They expect their spouse to enter the room just as they used to do. They can’t imagine living without them. It will never be the same again! After a while, it may be six months, a year, or even longer, they realize that she or he is never coming back and they start to make a life for themselves. But before they enter that new phase of living they are like the disciples for ten days, they are lonely.
Then comes the Day of Pentecost and with the gift of the Holy Spirit they transition from being lonely to being alone, and there is vast difference between the two. A woman who left an abusive husband realized for the first time how much she valued being alone. Her husband had never let her be herself, do what she liked to do, or express herself as a person. It always had to be his way or no way. Now, she valued herself as a person and was quite content for the first time in her life to be alone. She wasn’t lonely by any means. She was alone and could make her own mistakes or fortune as the case might be. It would be the same for the disciples with the gift of the Holy Spirit at Pentecost. But first they had to get through the ten days of loneliness.
Some of us at some time or another may experience the same ten days between the ascension and Pentecost. It may take longer than ten days, or it may take shorter, but there will come the day when we realize that even though we are alone we will never again be lonely. With that realization will come a certain peace, a certain degree of confidence, an independence of sorts that allows us to feel at home within our bodies.
"These things I have spoken to you while I am still with you. But the comforter, the Holy Spirit, who the Father will send in my name, he will bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you and teach you all things. And now, peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you, not as the world gives do I give it unto you. Let not your hearts be troubled and neither let them be afraid."
Thanks be to God,
Amen