ASSISTED LIVING
A sermon by the Rev. Dr. James G. Kirk
Harundale Presbyterian Church
Text: “in him all things hold together.” (Colossians 1:17)
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Second
On your recent trips home you’ve noticed how the folks aren’t keeping themselves as they used to. Your father, heretofore meticulous in his dress and care of himself, has begun looking unkempt and haggard. He doesn’t shave everyday like he used to. His clothes aren’t neat like they used to be. The house, usually neat as a pin, seems messy. There’s dust everywhere and you’ve even found dirty dishes in the sink. You’ve noticed that your mother seems easily distracted where she was always focussed in the past. Her memory isn’t what it once was and she seems unable to carry on a conversation for any length of time. Maybe your visit just caught them at a bad time and so you don’t make much of it until the next time you see them and the situation repeats itself. You think to yourself, is it time to talk with them about assisted living? Yet, you know the moment you mention it you’re going to get the argument of your life why they don’t need it and won’t even entertain the thought!
Such a scenario is playing itself out in this congregation almost daily. Parents are getting of an age when they can no longer care for themselves and the children are worried that one day the mother or the father is going to fall, break a hip or a shoulder and that will signal the downward spiral from hospital to a rehab facility and then to a nursing home. Yet, when they mention their parents should consider moving to an assisted living facility, it’s as though they’ve sentenced their parents to prison and all their rights, their independence, their dignity and their pride have been stripped from them and they fight the advice with every sinew of their remaining being.
The other day I was looking through my old scrapbook. I hadn’t opened it for at least forty years and as I turned the pages the pictures just fell off the pages. It seems as though the glue that once held them neatly arranged on every page had dried and now they were in complete disarray. I would have to spend time with every page to get the scrapbook back in the timely chronology of events in which it had originally been arranged. That must be the way our parents feel when we talk to them about assisted living. Their glue has begun no longer to hold and they find their lives, which once were neatly arranged on every page, suddenly in disarray with somebody saying they need help.
Yet, when we turn to our Scripture lesson this morning we hear how Jesus Christ is the coherence of all creation. He is not only “before all things,” but “in him all things hold together.” He is the glue that never dries, the bond that never fails, the togetherness of the complex world we inhabit. Christ is the key to both cosmic significance and human existence. This is the Christ in whom “all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell.” God held nothing back, left nothing out in the person of Jesus. Christ is the image, the face of the invisible God.
To believe in this God, to follow this Christ is to realize that all of our lives, from the waters of our baptism to the final breaths we take on this earth have been nothing but assisted living. As the Scripture reminds us time and again, “fear not, I am the first and the last and the living one. I was dead and behold I am alive forever and ever. Because I live you will live also. None of us lives to themselves and none of us dies to themselves. If we live, we live unto the Lord and if we die we die unto the Lord. So then, whether we live or whether we die we are the Lord’s”
That’s why Paul is so careful to pray that his readers might be “strong with all the strength that comes from his glorious power.” Paul also reminds us that we have been “rescued...from the power of darkness and transferred…into the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.” That’s assisted living! Assisted living is the only way we can get through life. There’s no such thing as independent living. That’s a myth. Yet it’s a myth that’s very hard to overcome, and anyone who’s confronted aging parents know just how hard it is to overcome, which is why we need to listen to Paul’s argument that to live in Christ is to live in an assisted living environment.
It’s assisted living when we change our children’s and grandchildren’s diapers. It’s assisted living when we take them that first day to pre-school and pray that as we leave they won’t hang on to us screaming. It’s assisted living when we wave them good-bye on that first day with the school bus. It’s assisted living when we position lifeguards around the swimming pool during the summer. It’s assisted living when we insist that our teen-agers be home by a decent hour on the weekends. It’s assisted living when we visit friends and loved ones in the hospital. It’s assisted living when we pray for one another during worship on Sunday. It’s assisted living when we open our fellowship hall to the homeless during the winter shelter and the free lunch program. To be truthful most of life if not all of life we would have to call assisted living. We’ve all tried independent living at some point in our lives and it’s proven to be dangerous if not disastrous.
So, getting back to our aging parents, it does them a disservice to prolong that moment when we need to say to them that it’s time they considered another phase of assisted living. Currently, statistics suggest that the majority of people in assisted living facilities are women in their 80’s, which is probably correct. But, as the baby boomers age we’re going to see more and more assisted living facilities emphasize activities for the active seniors. We’re going to see people making that move earlier and earlier, primarily to put the inevitable behind them and give them the comfort factor that they’re already settled where they can be cared for the rest of their lives.
Paul prays that we may be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified us to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.” This Thursday we’ll sit down to give thanks to God for all the blessings God has bestowed upon us. Think for a moment all those who’ve in some way or another assisted you to become the person you are today. Think of those who’ve possibly just passed your way and left a lasting gift of advice, of adventure, of friendship. Think of those who’ve stayed in your life through the years and spent the time necessary to grow up with you and impart some wisdom for you to live by. Think of those who’ve been the visible image of an invisible God and have strengthened you with all the power, endurance and patience that Paul writes about, and how that power, endurance and patience has helped you to get through some pretty dark moments in your life. And then take the time to tuck those memories away with a prayer of thanksgiving and you’ll realize with Paul how in Christ all of life is meant to be assisted living.
Thanks be to God,
Amen